There was no mistaking the fact that this river vessel was no youngster, although at age 29 it looked perfectly seaworthy. Twenty-nine? For a ship? These days a cruise ship built in 2001 is considered "older"; one built in 1976 is a veritable fossil!

But wait, this isn't a ship at all, and don't dare call it one. It's a boat, a historic, genuine, steam-driven river paddle wheeler, the last of its kind, running solely on steam. Its electrical systems are steam-driven, the paddlewheel is steam-driven, and the world's largest calliope, perched high above the aft end, is powered by steam as well.

The fall foliage tour I took from St. Paul, Minnesota to St. Louis, Missouri at the end of October came pretty late in the season; in fact, there was just one cruise after mine before the boat was docked for the winter. The stops on this trip were small cities in America's heartland, cities I might otherwise never have the chance to visit, cities like Dubuque and Davenport in Iowa, and Hannibal, Missouri, boyhood home of Mark Twain. Steamboatin' down the Mississippi River, traveling at anywhere between two and seven miles per hour, traversing no fewer than 26 locks and hearing the huge belch of the boat's steam whistle, created an extremely relaxing yet oddly energizing journey for me. I was entranced by the history of the region and I was excited by the new experience.

Everywhere we went, we saw people standing at the docks or along the banks and seawalls of the Mississippi waving at us. Whole families came down to the river to see us pass, often to the joyous sound of the largest calliope in the world. I hope that the Mississippi Queen continues her path along the rivers of America for a good long time, so the kids who watched us pass can one day board her for a journey of their own.

Dining
Because the boat, and the journeys it takes, lends itself to an ultra-casual atmosphere, I was surprised at how traditional and elegant the dinners are onboard. In fact, there were two formal nights on my seven-night trip. I saw gents in their tuxes and ladies in their beaded gowns, and not one but two (!) men in kilts. The rest of the time, it's dressy, with men wearing either a jacket or a nice sweater and shirt with tie, and ladies in pearls.

There are two seatings, one very early (5:30 p.m.) and one quite late (8:15 p.m.). The cuisine served at this meal is fantastic, much, much better than I had anticipated. Because the line is based in New Orleans, the menu includes regional specialties from that area no matter which route you sail, and the 115 years of practice (the line started service in 1890) means that they know how to do them right. The blackened redfish, gumbo, jambalaya, etouffee and po' boys were nearly perfect; the non-regional entrees -- prime rib, chicken and salmon -- were prepared nicely as well.

Space and cooking facilities in the boat's kitchen are limited, and although they do bake a couple of daily bread varieties, the desserts are bought in bulk from warehouse stores and are very obviously institutional and disappointing ... with one exception. Bread pudding, New Orleans style, is served every night, with or without ice cream, and it's so good that -- if it weren't for the fact that the entrees are also fantastic -- it's almost worth ordering every night.

The breakfast pastries are also institutional, gummy and disappointing. You can get them delivered to your room with coffee in the mornings if you'd like; there is a door-hung card in your stateroom offering a light continental breakfast. They are also available at the coffee station located in the center of the Observation Deck (which later in the day offers yummy homemade cookies along with the ever-full coffee pot).

Breakfast and lunch are both available in the dining room on an open-seating basis, but the best breakfast option is the buffet in the Grand Saloon during the Riverlorian's daily presentation at 7:30 a.m.

Public Rooms

From the minute you step onto the elongated prow of the Mississippi Queen, climb the red-carpeted stairs to the stained-glass entry doors and enter the main salon, you realize that this ship -- er, boat -- is unique. The decor is a kaleidoscope of Victorian-era kitsch, with multiple patterns of William Morris-style wallpaper, stained glass windows, crystal chandeliers, Chippendale-reproduction furniture, a huge sweeping staircase and multi-colored, multi-patterned carpeting. In one spot, just above the grand stairway leading to the Observation Deck, is a wallpaper border in an outrageously out-of-sync Art Deco print, which made me giggle out loud. Don't try this decor at home.

This Victoriana theme is carried throughout the boat, in her public areas and dining room, hallways and cabins. Gold-gilt mirrors and embossed ceilings meet paisley and fleur-de-lis wallpaper and floral fabrics. There isn't a bland or remotely beige corner anywhere onboard. Everything is dripping with crystal chandeliers, gas-lamp style sconces, dark walls with oak wainscoting, lots of reds and forest greens, and a melange of fabrics and textures that can make you dizzy if you thought about it long enough.

Yet somehow, on this vessel, it all works.

The main salon, located at the forward end (and entry) to the boat, is a charming space filled with lace and flowers, stained glass windows and doilies. Sitting here and reading a newspaper or book is similar to visiting the parlor of an aged aunt, and becomes more so when tea is served mid-afternoon. The main dining room, located slightly aft of midship, is filled with mirrors, crystal and oak, but is quiet enough to enjoy conversation with table-mates.

Cabins

There is a tiny library and game room, very placid and clubby.

The two-deck-high Paddlewheel Lounge at the aft of the boat overlooks the enormous paddle mechanism and is graced with two-deck-high windows as well. The upper level is built as a balcony looking down over the main lounge and bar. What's nice about this upper level space is that there are several nooks and crannies for quiet conversation or reading. The bar area gets quite lively, and you can always get a bowl of popcorn to enjoy.

The room that gets the most use, though, is the Grand Saloon, located at the front over the main salon. It's here that the main evening entertainment takes place, and here that the Riverlorian spins his tales in the mornings. It's busy most of the day, but it's a nice place in which to visit and relax when there is no organized activity planned.

The boat's logo shop, all-day coffee and tea station and Golden Antlers Lounge are located midship on the Observation Deck.

Most of the 210 staterooms on Mississippi Queen are absolutely miniscule, about the size of your average camping tent. Deluxe cabins consist of two twin beds, a teeny closet, a metal dresser, a little chair and a very, very small but adequate bathroom with shower (about 12 square ft.). Closet space is a curtained alcove (pack light.) Even the deluxe suites average just about 200 square ft., although they come complete with a bathtub, settee and a king bed. Luckily, nearly two-thirds of the outside cabins have spacious balconies, so when the weather is good, space is greatly expanded and enhanced.

Most of the best accommodations are on the Promenade Deck at the top of the ship, some of which have enormous terraces, but the most fun accommodations are the two Luxury Suites at the back. Located on the Cabin Deck, they are lower than the others and adjacent to the huge paddlewheel; the swish, swish, swish sound is soothing.

Cabin amenities include soap, shampoo and lotion but there are no hair dryers. There are also no televisions (sports fans can find one at the Calliope Bar at the aft of the Promenade Deck). Instead, there is a wall-mounted radio/intercom system that pipes in CNN Headline News on one channel and music on another, and at certain times of the day or evening, trades the CNN channel for taped broadcasts of that day's Riverlorian lecture.

A bit of trivia: The first paddlewheel steamboat built (around 1812) with guest quarters had 18 passenger cabins; at that time there were 18 states in the U.S.A., and to honor this great country, each room was named for one of those 18 states. Thus was born the term "stateroom" to refer to a passenger cabin!

There is one ADA-compliant stateroom with a roll-in shower, but this boat would be difficult to maneuver for a completely immobile guest.

Entertainment
One of the nicest aspects of the entertainment offerings on Mississippi Queen is that there are live musicians, rather than the pre-recorded music so prevalent on cruise ships today, backing up the talented singers. And at any given time during the day, a band might be playing in one of the public rooms: jazz, Gershwin, classics. You won't find acrobats or magicians on this boat, or fancy backdrops and flying wires, but the entertainment is good, occasionally hokey, and sometimes inspiring.

There is a song-and-dance show every night in the Grand Saloon, a pianist in the Paddlewheel Lounge almost every afternoon and evening, and occasional performers brought onboard from the cities and towns along that sailing's route.

When I first learned about the Riverlorian program, I expected some grizzled old guy with a handlebar mustache and a raspy voice sitting in a rocker and "spinning yarns." Instead, what we got was a young, dynamic, entertaining river historian who regaled us with tales of the Mighty Mississippi, bits of trivia and loads of history. He's the closest thing to a cruise director that this boat sees, and his 7:30 a.m. breakfast lectures were the most widely attended "entertainment" onboard. I learned, for example, that the city of St. Paul, the capital of Minnesota, started life named Pig's Eye, and of course, the further south we went, the closer we got to Hannibal, the more we learned about Samuel Clemens and his Mark Twain persona.

There is no casino, but there are daily (cash jackpot) bingo and trivia games played onboard, and a movie theatre on the lowest deck for (usually) twice-daily recent releases.

Fitness & Recreation
On the Promenade Deck at the aft is a sun and pool area, with really classy-looking padded wrought iron chaises and tables. The pool is just big enough for a dip, perfect for those sticky, icky Midwest and Deep South summer days. The Calliope Bar, nearby, is perfectly located for an ice-cold beer or complimentary soft drink.

There's a very small fitness room forward on the same deck.

Family
Not many concessions are made for family participation. There is no children's center, no babysitting, no televisions. A young child traveling with Grandma and Grandpa for a three-night cruise might enjoy the uniqueness of the trip, but once that wears off it would probably be no fun for the kid or the adults.

Fellow Passengers
There are many, many repeat guests on this boat; on my cruise, at least 50 percent had been on Mississippi Queen at least once, and one woman was celebrating her 51st time on it over a 20-year span.

The demographic is almost uniformly senior; the pace of the boat and the travel is perfectly suited for an older crowd. I'm in my late fifties and was at least 20 years younger than anyone else at my dinner table. Most of the shore excursions in the cities and towns we visited seemed to be geared to the pace of seniors as well.

Dress Code
Casual, casual, casual during the day, dressy at dinner, with two formal nights on a seven-night cruise.

Gratuity
Envelopes are provided at the end of the cruise, with the suggested amounts: $4.50 per person for cabin attendant and server in dining room, $3.25 for bus person; dining room captain, $5.75 per couple per cruise, and maitre d', $4.25 per couple per cruise. Porters, bar staff and breakfast room service should be tipped as the service is rendered; tips for the wine steward are discretionary.